Chainsaw Cut Ice… for these unbearably hot days!


Chainsaw Cut Ice

Take a 300-pound block of ice and set carefully on a towel to prevent escape! Don’t have a block of ice so large? Go to a local ice house and ask them to chip off a hunk for you to work with.

If you’re nice, they might cut it up for you!

Use a small electric chainsaw with a clean blade. Wear eye protection! Ice is sharp! Cut extremely carefully with your saw. Wear heavy gloves and use an ice pick to separate large usable chips from small ones (less usable because they dilute a drink, rather than chill it).

  • To a cocktail shaker filled with fresh ice add:
  • 3 ounces of Bluewater USDA Certified Organic Vodka from Seattle, Washington
  • 1.5 ounces Orleans Apple Aperitif from Vermont (similar to Lillet but with frozen apples instead of grape-driven wine and herbs)
  • 3 drops of Bittercube Bitters (I like their Cherry Bark Vanilla for this cocktail; you can also use the salubrious bitters from Bitter End or even the German-made bitters from Bitter Truth. Don’t have these? Try Angostura!)
  • Freshly squeezed lime, lemon and tangerine juice — about 1 tablespoon of each

Add all liquors and fruit juices and cube ice (save the chainsaw ice for the cocktail) to a cocktail shaker and shake vigorously until frost forms on the side of the shaker like the steam rising off a road after a summer thunderstorm.

Strain into a tall rocks glass with that perfect chunk of chainsaw ice. I prefer a long, tall ice cube rather than smaller chips.

Finish cocktail with exactly three drops of Bittercube Cherry Bark Vanilla Bitters and sip through to a finish that speaks of languid, humid days in New Orleans. Serves 1.